!!tw!! *Talk about Bulimia*

Am I lazy if I won't cook non safe food when I'm relapsing? I've been doing great for 2 years but lately my brother and husband keep making me cook food I can't be around. They have drove me to the point of hurting myself after I cook because I can't handle it. (They have no clue I am hurting myself) I've tried telling them but my brother has gone as far as saying if I wanna die like I say I do then just off myself. I'm tore to pieces idk what to do anymore.

Sorry for the long post