Struggling

So I am almost 9 weeks pregnant and really struggling. I have AWFUL morning sickness. Nashua all day, puking, just miserable overall. I was hospitalized at 6 weeks with a kidney infection and severe dehydration from not being able to keep anything down. I have been prescribed zofran, phenegrin, and the B6 unisom combo pill and they help but nothing gets rid of the feeling that has become debilitating.

Because of all of this I am really struggling to be excited about this baby, I know this is supposed to be a good thing and exciting but I can’t help but just feel like this is a parasite sucking the life out of me and I feel no emotional connection to it. These feelings make me feel like such an awful person and mom and I am just really having a rough time.

Please tell me I am not alone and this will all pass??