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Gender disappointment

katie

Is anyone else dealing with this? I didn’t even know this was a thing but I’m having an extreme reaction. I know this is a hot topic and I should just be grateful that this baby is healthy but all my excitement about being pregnant and being a mom vanished the moment we opened the envelope and it said it’s a girl. I feel like a horrible person and I’m so angry at myself. How has anyone gotten through this to the other side? I feel like there has to be a breaking point or method to recover and I just want to pretend these days of disappointment never happened.

Please be kind. I’m aware this is a controversial topic. But it’s a real thing and i came here for support.

284 views • 2 upvotes • 9 comments

COMMENT (9)

no

Posted at
I would try to explore why you dislike girls so much. What's so bad about having a girl ? Journal about it. Bring it up to a therapist. What is it about the baby you created having a vagina that bothers you ? Seems to be very common on this app.

fa

Posted at
I had it with two of my boys your learn to love it what I did was went out and shopped around for boy clothes to help me realize that and also no matter the gender kids will be kids my boys love makeup and doing fun stuff and I know girls my best friend girl love playing in midland doing guy things

ka

katie • Apr 19, 2022
I thought about doing that today. I need to shake this. Thanks sweet girl

Ja

Posted at
Honestly gender disappointed is a valid and very common experience - I’d encourage you to make space for the sadness and process the loss of hopes around having one gender - and note the guilt without buying into it too much because you haven’t done anything wrong by having feelings of sadness (which is what the guilt is trying to say). I was sad for some time when I found out I was having a girl, let it be, talked it over with my therapist and am now ripe and ready to raise baby girl.

Mi

Posted at
I had it for a while with my boy. Maybe talk with your SO and pick a name early and talk to and think of your baby with her name. Or give her a nickname.

Ky

Posted at
I’m sorry you’re feeling that, for me personally this is a part of the reason I don’t want to find out gender. Once they’re here you won’t care.

no

Posted at
I’m so sorry your feeling that! I personally have never (yet) experienced gender disappointment … hopefully I don’t. But, I had a baby girl last year & she’s amazing. I don’t know if you already have girls or if this is your first baby. But, your feelings WILL pass and you WILL love this baby. I’m pregnant again right now, and even tho I haven’t experienced gender disappointment I do feel like “how could I love another baby” or things like that. I know I will but, being pregnant we are just so all over the place.

Ba

Posted at
My husband was disappointed when we found out we were having a girl. He had build up the image of a son in his head, especially after training some new apprentices at work. After a while, he was able to adjust his expectations and is really excited to have a girl now. It is totally ok to feel dissapointed - it is natural. It may take some more time, but you will come to terms with it and love your child all the same :)

Le

Posted at
I had it for a while and it still crosses my mind bc I am 30 weeks. I have a little girl and wanted a boy due to the fact this has to be my last pregnancy, my heart and body can not take it. so even though it is sad I won't ever know what a little boy my husband and I would of had. I know I'll have 2 girls that will be my best friends and us 3 will continue to drive their father crazy. trying to not be depressed and just blessed.
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