So here’s my story. I got pregnant with my only song at 18. My whole pregnancy was super tough. I was in a terrible place mentally through it all and ended up giving birth prematurely at 32 weeks. My son was transported to the nearest NICU almost 2 hrs away as soon as he was born while I stayed at the hospital alone my husband had to make the tough choice of leaving me alone to go be with our son. This was the hardest days of my life. Not being able to be with my son for the first few days was so heartbreaking. As soon as I got discharged from the hospital 3 days later I drove all the way to the hospital to meet my son. He was beautiful with a head full of hair. The nurses all said he had to have his own personal hair dryer because he had so much hair. He was there for almost 2 months until we were able to bring him home. Fast forward 5 years I got pregnant again and this time my pregnancy seemed to be going much smoother than my previous. Until on March 27, 2017 I started bleeding uncontrollably. I was so scared I just knew something was going wrong. We went to the ER only to be sent home with nothing done to me and them just saying it was a threatened miscarriage and to make an appointment with my OB as soon as possible. This was on a Friday so I had to wait til Monday to see my doctor. That night I gave birth to twins in my moms bathroom, alone. I was 9 weeks pregnant. This broke me so badly because I knew how badly and how happy we all were with my pregnancy. We were looking at names already. After that loss my period has been so inconsistent. Sometimes I will have a good normal period and then everything changes and goes abnormal. Mean less to say I have been trying to get pregnant since then and nothing has happened. I know God’s timing is different than what we have made up in our minds and maybe right now is not the right time but when will it be? I have longed and prayed for another child not just for me but for my son who whole heartedly has wanted a sibling since he was 3 years old. Now he is 9 and it just breaks my heart for him to grow up alone. I have 5 sisters and I couldn’t image being an only child. This group not only has helped me heal but it has also helped me let go of all anger I have towards my body for not being able to do what is so easy for some. I have read stories similar to mine and some totally different but at the end the goal is the same to conceive that long awaited child. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and anything helps.