Can you spoil a newborn/baby? Are they manipulative

Question

My baby is due in 5 weeks & my Mil keep telling me not to hold her often. Pretty saying much if she's awake and quiet leave her be. My mom on the other hand said babies are only babies, especially newborns, for so long so hold the baby. So I really don't know. My mind is made that I’ll be holding my baby. If she’s awake and mil is saying leaving her be then when the hell will she get held?! Not while she’s sleeping….

Answer

Studies show physical touch fuels brain development in babies

Answer

No such thing as spoiling a baby. They get oxygen better, digest better, grow better, sleep better from being held and talked to.

Answer

You can NOT spoil a newborn.

Answer

They don't start getting manipulative until around 18 months in my experience. They don't have the capacity. They feel "need" and express it through crying. Meet their "need" when you can. If they are content by themselves you don't have to rush over the second they wake up. You can watch them on a baby monitor or from nearby...or you can pick them up right away and go on with your lives. Either way is fine. 
If they're screaming, go ahead and check on them. You can't know what is bothering them if you ignore them. Not being able to communicate is so hard for such a little thing! I'll never forget one time with my eldest I was certain there was nothing wrong but he kept screaming. It wasn't until several minutes of investigation later that I discovered his diaper had a hard fibrous bit that was stabbing him in the crotch the whole time! If I ignored him because I thought he was trying to manipulate me, he probably would trust me less and have a cut on his weenie. The more time we spend investigating their needs, the better we can read their signals and the better they can communicate with and trust us. 
That being said, there are times when we just can't figure out what is wrong or it's something we can't really fix right away (like gas or feeling sick). Do what you can but be sure you're not getting to the point of losing it. It's better for them to cry alone than to have someone snap. They're not messing with you, they just literally don't know any better.

Answer

You and your baby will fall into a routine that’s works for the two of you, your the mother if you want to hold her 24/7 that’s your choice. There are pros and cons to holding the baby all the time and getting baby use to not being held. I’ve always held my babies A LOT and love baby wearing, but some moms need to get stuff done and it’s hard if you need to hold your baby. I think the logic behind don’t spoil the baby is it’s easier to care for them
If they don’t need to be held. I’m sure you still figure out what works for you and that sweet baby 😊😊😊

Answer

Who’s gonna know? I feel like there is a line between too much coddling and not enough. They are only newborns for so long. They are eventually going to need tummy time and activity mat time but the newborn time is when they only eat sleep and poop so hold them!

Answer

There is good reason to let baby be happy on its own and not holding them 24/7 but not to avoid spoiling them. You can feel free to look into that on your own time but it doesn’t need to be a rule. Just some time maybe 10-20 min for baby to be content alone daily or multiple times a week. That being said hold your baby. Both of mine were held or near me all the time as a baby and they were and are very independent.

Answer

Manipulative? No. I can say that from comparing and contrasting my boys, putting them down while they sleep improved sleeping habits later on. When they are awake though I think the stimulation of looking at you and getting talked to is so valuable. Hold away!

Answer

Everyone warned me with my first born that if I continued to hold him 24/7 the way I did that he would be too spoiled and clingy when he was older. Boy were they wrong because he is the most independent non-cuddly 2 year old I’ve ever seen. You do you mama!

Answer

Psychology student here…when babies are little they are relying on us for every single thing. They need their caregivers to be responsive and timely. Think about the animals that we evolved from. The apes carry their babies 100% of the time. In order to build good attachment you should be responding quickly to any crying and no you cannot spoil them when they’re so little. I’m not saying you have to carry them all the time but don’t let them cry a bunch either. Their little brains treat it as abuse and learn not to trust the caregivers

Can you spoil a newborn/baby? Are they manipulative

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products