Why is it SO hard to respect others pregnancy/birth/postpartum wishes?

Question

So I will be giving birth to the first grandchild on my husbands side next week. His family can be a bit overbearing and I’ve been firm with my boundaries in the past as I’m an extremely private person. We had some issues with boundaries regarding our wedding and buying our first home so I figured it would be best to lay things out prior to me giving birth so there’s no confusion. I also sent this to my family too as well as our close friends and I got SO much crap for it to where I’m just not replying anymore. 
“Hey everyone! As the time gets closer I know we are all excited for the new family member, and I want each and every one of you to create a lasting relationship with her. Being that this is mine and husbands first child, and we are both very private we just wanted to share some boundaries so everyone is on the same page and there’s no stress :) 
- we will be texting when labor starts and I finally go to the hospital, husband will try to keep everyone up to date but please remember we want to be in the moment :)
- once she is here we will send out a picture, I know everyone wants to see her cute little face. Please do not share this photo or any others on social media to respect our privacy. 
- we will not be taking any phone calls or video calls at the hospital, or any visitors (visitor restriction is per hospital rules)
- upon return home, we will try our best to call/FaceTime family within the first few days. Please do not blow up our phones as we adjust to life with our little one
- we would prefer to not have any visitors her first two weeks home. We have a very small apartment as you all know and I will be in a very vulnerable state. 
- after the first two weeks home, if you’d like to come by, please just check with us to plan a good time and respect that all three of us may not be super social
- NO kissing baby
- NO photos on social media of baby (you can take some please just don’t post)
- NO photos of me
- if you feel sick, please do not plan a visit 
I hope you can all be a part of her life and respect our new families wishes during this fragile and exciting time ❤️”
I got so much backlash for this. But I really don’t think anything is that out of line, or like I’m asking anyone anything crazy. Just basic respect and boundaries that I know would be crossed if I didn’t outline. But now I have a pissed best friend, sister in law, aunts and mother in law. My mom is fine since she is as private as I am. What do you think?

Answer

I think it’s brilliant. You laid out all of the boundaries in writing and very clearly. They have no room to disrespect your wishes, and that’s probably what they’re angry about. Stick with it and enjoy that little bundle of joy 🥳

Answer

Girl this was perfectly fine but those who are upset and bothered are those who would have overstepped andnits a good thing you laid it out.
These are all things that are common sense things that a normal person shouldn't be asked and respect.
I'm sorry you got backlash from it but they'll be fine, if not. o well

Answer

If they can’t respect your wishes they don’t need to see baby until they feel they can. It’s not a big deal and you didn’t set very harsh boundaries. Anyone who gives you grief I wouldn’t even text. To make everything easier on you, you could just create one big group text. I hate to say it but people will post pictures of her so I wouldn’t include any pictures of her face if you don’t want her on social media

Answer

Stand your ground! This is your baby and this is your little family. If these are the boundaries you both have set and agreed upon, don’t budge. They will get over it and if not they will live. These boundaries seem perfectly normal to me.

Answer

They'll get over it. And if they don't then the toxic trash will take itself out lol. Your boundaries are all completely reasonable so hold your ground and fuck their feelings 🥰

Answer

Nothing here is unreasonable.
I would ask them why they get upset about it honestly. I would legitimately want to know why they could possibly be upset about not seeing a newborn baby immediately. They'll be much more fun 2-3 months old really 😅

Answer

None of that was out of line. That sounds like a normal set of requests for new parents. Those are the same ones I had when my son was born and we had a battle with people trying to break certain ones 
Now I'm on my 2nd baby and the only ones I will enforce is tell me before they visit, don't visit if they're sick, don't take photos and shove a phone in the babies face and post it online because that's OUR place. If they want to do so they need to ASK first.

Answer

Overall, it's your life, your baby, your home, not mention your delivery. Therefore whatever you say GOES. Everyone else can be angry all they want, if they can't respect your wishes it shows they can't respect you and yours. If you and your husband are on the same page with it, I really wouldn't worry about others feelings toward it. Most of what you put should be common sense as it is. We basically had the same thing when I gave birth to our first, and my mil completely disregarded how we felt, and what we asked for. So I really don't think you're in the wrong, just make sure you have a strong plan to avoid any over stepping. If your hospital does take visitors you definitely want to make it known to your nurses that you do NOT want any at all. And they will turn any unwanted person away. I failed to do this because I didn't think my mil would show, but I was wrong. Good luck and I pray your family and in laws respect you!!

Why is it SO hard to respect others pregnancy/birth/postpartum wishes?

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