What was your breaking point?

Question

When cutting off family or friends??...
This morning my mom sends out a mass text for my sister's birthday next week with plans she's made for her. My birthday was in April and she offered to take me to brunch only to skip out last minute and only sent me a text. Found out she canceled on me to go see a man who's been ghosting her whenever he feels like it. She kept my daughters for me for 2 years (2020 & 2021) while I went out of town but blew up my phone everyday asking when I was coming back. In 2020 on the day of the birthday I had to cancel my plans on a 4 hour drive to her to pick them up early. She never really celebrated my birthday and often times says I had/have a bad attitude. The reality is...She always treated me like shit. The last birthday party she threw for me she invited my absuive ex WHO SHE KNEW WAS ABUSIVE...thing is she stole his number out of my phone!! Others have said something to her. And it hasn't changed. This Memorial weekend she offered to keep my daughters again while I went out of town and on the day of...my sister was coming by to pick them up and my 7 year old tells me they didn't want to go because of how my mother treats them when they're there. I had no idea about this! She told me that she oftens yells at my 5 year old. And 2 weekends ago when she had them overnight for a carnival apparently she grabbed my 5 year old by the hood of her jacket making her stumble and fall. Of course I made a call to my mother to which she tried to explain that my child was in the way of oncoming people so she just grabbed her. My 7 year old is saying that's not true nor is that what happened. Of course I believe my child and they're saying that don't want to go back with my mom because they're afraid of her. I BIG STEP behind my children I don't give a damn who it is. I know their feelings all too well because my mom treated me the same fucking way. I feel awful because in the beginning she seemed to be a better grandparent than a parent to me. Anyway, The tipping point for me is this... the mass text my mom sent out for my sister's birthday. She's showing favorites as she always has and while it still makes me jealous and mad.. I can't handle it anymore. I know it sounds childish but I'm only human. It's like a deliberate blow to the gut. And I'm officially over it! I'm done. The issue concerning my children already has me ready to fight (I know that's my mom but my kids are my kids!!!) But this?! I feel it's intentional. My sister use to always say how she could see how our mother treated me differently but over the years she's basks in the attention and somehow has started to take in the bullshit despite calling me to tell me the shit my mother says behind my back about me or the fact that she's telling my business to everyone. She told my family about my ex-fiance still being married. Making a fool of me to everyone! He lied about being divorced (I posted about it) my mom is/was my only support system. I have NO ONE!! Literally!!! I have nobody!! And it makes me sad but the reality also is that I've had no one for YEARS!! It's always just been me!! On my own. But when people need me I'm expected to be there but when I need help or guidance etc...Everyone else just can't be bothered. 
Sorry for the rant but what was your breaking point when deciding to cut off family? Friends? 
Sorry if my details seem vague...I could write a novel explaining everything but that'd take days LOL.
Thanks for reading.

Answer

I dont know why but get the sense that there is more to this story? How was your relationship and did u honor your mother in your youth? And your mom keeping your 2 kids for 2 years is a huge GIVE if u ask me. That supercedes any party she could ever throw your sister. Could it be your perspective may be skewed. Just offering the other side of this two sided coin🤔.  As far as ill treatment of the kids though… i just wouldnt leave them with her or would ask her about it before accusing her. Sometimes kids can sense animosity of adults and it trickles down to them as well.

Answer

I don't have rules about this if somebody stresses me out and I dread contact with them I distance and avoid interaction

Answer

If you are questioning whether or not you need to cut them off then you are at that crossroad. 
It’s time to cut contact period. You have already taken too much. I’m sorry that you had to put up with this.

Answer

Sounds like you’ve already reached your breaking point babe. I sympathize with you—this is very relatable to my family. Don’t ever feel bad for cutting someone out of your life who doesn’t benefit you OR your children. You said that it’s always been just you, and I’ll tell you that is ALL YOU NEED. At the end of the day, all you really have is yourself and you have to be strong for your babies bc that’s what they’re gonna see! You are who they’ll look up to! You don’t really need to give anyone an explanation to why you’re gonna cut them off bc you continue to let her slide bc she’s mom but she knows exactly what she’s doing. Bc she’s been told and she still does it. It’s best to keep toxic family members at a distance and to be very direct when they ask you questions. Don’t sugar coat anything. It’s either, you change or I’m not coming around no more. Hope this help!

Answer

Anyone who is a constant negative in my life, that I just don't feel good being around. Gone. Including my own mother and 2 out of soon to be 7 of my siblings, and one of my siblings mother's (my dad has kids with 3 different women. Currently my bonus mom is expecting. Why I say soon to be 7 siblings but I adore that lady. It's my sister's mother I don't speak to. Dad and bonus mom have full custody of sister. Her mother doesn't even call or see her ever in almost a year now. But my other 2 siblings from my mother. Can't stand em for various reasons.) Also including a very large portion of my husband's family. Thankfully we're both on the same page as far as cutting toxic family members out goes. We don't do it all at once. We start with firmly setting boundaries and pulling back a little. If they still can't respect the boundaries we've set, then we're done.

Answer

My mil is like this. She HEAVILY favors my husband over her younger son and is even vocal about it. She’s a narcissist and everything in her life has to be about her. She is incredibly selfish. If it was my immediate family, I can promise you I wouldn’t be speaking to her anymore but I put the ball in my husband’s court. As our kids get older more and more I worry they’ll see her true colors come out. You have every right to cut her out.

Answer

So sorry to hear this my love. Parents tend to have favourites, whether it's intentional or not. I think it's better to sit with your mother and tell her how you feel. You may find that she has a whole lot to say as well. That way you can both work out a way of working on your relationship. I'm saying this because you said you are alone, you have no one. Truth is, we all need someone. God made sure that we are born into a family, because He knew that we need each other.
If you see that she is not sorry, then you can decide to distance yourself from her.

Answer

How did she take your kids for two years?

What was your breaking point?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products