I FEEL SO BAD. should I feel this way?

my mom is emotionally abusive. recently, she made fun of my boyfriend by calling him an eyesore. so i asked her what she meant about it, and she said he's not good enough for you.

i have a huge issue with this. in the past, she has personally told me to go and kill myself fpr dating another guy that she didnt like. she yelled at me telling me to jump out of the car and kill myself multiple times as i was driving her, then when i finally pulled up to drop her off at the house, she told me to put all my money into her bank account before i do it. for every guy that i dated, she would always say, "why dont you date that one guy who was valedictorian of the school and is now a scientist?" I tell her it's because he was low key emotionally abusive to me. but she doesnt care and looks at his status instead of how the guy actually treats me. even up until now with my current boyfriend, she brings up this guy.

my current boyfriend is the opposite of any of the guys i dated in the past. he emotionally cares for me when i go through depression, takes care of me when im sick, and is respectful/considerate/communicative. he is graduating school at 29 but is very motivated and hardworking, doing a part time job, school and an internship.

when my mom called him an eyesore on a call and started cackling fakely on the phone, i wanted to let her know that this type of behavior was not okay. so i told her, the fact that she told me this is low. then she said, "youre lucky i dont say this behind your back. what you see is what you get." so i told her, "the fact that you told me this to my face and are laughing about it is disrespectful, not only to him, but to me. and now i want to let you know that what you said is low. now i got to go, goodbye."

i feel horrible to say this to my own mother. should i feel bad?