Bfp and thoughts… tw:suicide

I’ve been seeing so many positives I have so many thoughts of taking my own life. My mother passed and I have my grandmother and fiancé but at this point I’ve been trying for two years and feel useless. It’s made my relationship horrible, nothing feels right. I have no energy to get out of bed. I need help. Not mentally but physically. I’m so broken in pieces I just want to scream and cry, why is it so hard making a baby with the person I love. I’m only 19 and I have been trying for two years. It should never be to this point. I’m so done and don’t know what to do.