Is this weird? Should I do this?

Question

My fwb wants CNC with no safe word. He literally told me he’s into BDSM, wants me to be his sex slave and he wants to have a key to my new place when I move out so he can come in during the night while I’m asleep and have sex with me with no safe word. I mean I kinda have a play rape fantasy myself but my friend who’s a girl told me what he’s saying seems kinda dangerous. Like she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to give him a key and not have a safe word and all that jazz bc she says it sounds too much like it could turn into real rape. We all know each other from classes in the same small college together which is how we know each other and why I do feel a bit comfortable with him. I’ve been sleeping with him since last July also with no issues but I’m wondering if she’s right

Answer

Yes she is obviously right. Why wouldn't there be a safe word? In other words he can do however he likes and you have no say in it.

Answer

absolutely not. this man is trying to rape you.

Answer

Can’t even comment on the sexual bits, but just think about this: you’re in your own bed feeling safe and someone enters tour home at night! Would that not give you a heartattack!?

Answer

I think it's a bit dodgy myself to be honest. No safe word? Nope. A key for a FWB? Nope.

Answer

Tell him safe word or nothing. You have a saying here.

Answer

No you should not. It's fine to have whatever fantasy you want. Plenty of people have this fantasy with a safe word. Without a safe word things can turn from great to bad very fast. Unless you are fine with possibly being legitimately raped I would not consent to this. I also wouldn't be giving him a key to my place. Again, you can have the fantasy of him breaking in while knowing about him coming over ahead of time. It's all part of the role play. Honestly it's just a giant red flag for me that he wants to do all these things without a safe word. It's not cool and it's not safe. Listen to your friend. You don't know this guy just because you go to class together or whatever else. Plenty of people have been taken advantage of by people they know. Except this guy is basically asking permission to take advantage of you ahead of time by trying to convince you to do these things without a safe word. He doesn't respect you or your feelings if this is the kind of stuff he wants from you

Answer

Definitely not. He is not a safe playmate. He may get be “into bdsm and cnc” but he has no right practicing either if he doesn’t understand or respect the basics of active consent

Answer

unless you’re fine with cnc being that open and sans boundaries, then i would not agree. to put it into perspective, what immediately came into my mind was imagine if he came in one night to have sex and you woke up and didn’t want to. how would he know to stop, would he stop, etc etc. if that doesn’t sound like something u rly want then definitely create a safe word. make sure he’s the type of person to honor a safe word as well.

Answer

Girlll your friend is totally right👀👀 you should listen to her

Answer

if he doesnt want to use a safe word, hes using the term cnc to give him an excuse to legitimately rape you. when doing anything bdsm related, like cnc, a safe word is 100% necessary in order to ensure the safety and pleasure of both parties. he very much seems dangerous and i dont think you should be doing anything with him to make sure you stay safe.

Is this weird? Should I do this?

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