How to deal with two year old temper tantrums when you have no time!?

Question

So my daughter is 2.5 and has started having meltdowns as soon as we really need to go somewhere. Like an appointment or daycare and we try everything in the books to get this girl out the door but then as soon as we close the door behind us she goes mental and starts flailing around in her stroller or on the floor screaming, back arching like she's being murdered. This is kind of new for us and we live in a busy apartment complex and I am so petrified of everyone staring at us like we are kidnapping her or something so we go back inside and deal with the tantrum there. Today though, it was so out of control it took an hour of putting her in time out until she was too exhausted and we could finally go. I was an hour late for work and so mentally exhausted I just feel miserable. Can anyone help give me examples how you would deal with this? I have huge anxiety about her having a meltdown in public, is there any way to avoid that!?!

Answer

Your LO is struggling with transitions like most toddlers do. My LO has especially big emotions. For transitions I have found that setting a timer helps a lot. I will warn him first and then after some time will say "We have to start getting ready to go soon, would you like a 2 minute timer or a 5 minute timer?" To offer him a choice and make him feel in control. He will pick how long and help me set the timer. When the time gets to 1 minute I remind him when the timer goes off we will get ready to go. Once the timer goes off we go *usually* without a meltdown because his body had time to adjust to the transition. Hope this helps! Dealing with big emotions can be tough but acknowledging their feelings and staying calm helps too when the timer trick doesn't work. "You are feeling angry because you want to keep playing. We will play together when we get home. Would you like to put your jacket or your shoes on first?" Also having a transitional object helps. Usually my son will take his stuffy or a toy car.

Answer

Toddlers will have meltdowns in public, that’s pretty unavoidable. But most people aren’t going to assume you’re kidnapping or abusing her, most will assume she’s a toddler behaving like a toddler.
In my house we do warnings, like in 5 minutes we’re doing this. I find the best warnings are a task I’m doing, like when I tell my kids “I’m going potty then we’re putting on our shoes and leaving,” they’ll be putting on their shoes by the time I leave the bathroom. Sometimes warnings don’t work, sometimes they’re just in a bad mood and aren’t going to cooperate. If I need to be somewhere and can’t be late then I don’t wait around for them, I put them in the car seat and listen to them scream. It’s not ideal but I can’t risk being fired because my toddler is in a mood.

Answer

All of this. My daughter responds really well to timers and then allowing a toy to come with us is helpful to. Just last night she didn’t want to transition from Play to bath…. Gave her a timer and let her pick a toy to take to the tub allowed her to shift without issues. When we leave the house we bought her her own back pack she can pack to help with transitions too.

Answer

It’s going to happen, you push through it. If you bring her back inside every time she cry’s you are teaching her that if she screams she gets to stay home, so you just drag her little booty to the car while explaining “we have to go bye bye now, I know you’re upset but we have to go” and she’ll just stop crying eventually and she’ll learn

Answer

How is she when shes actually there? It's lilely transitions, but if she also freaks out while youre out and 'having fun' it could be a sensory processing issue.

Answer

Tons of rolemodeling, tons of preparation, and honestly making time for her. Transitions are hard on adults that understand what is going to happen in advance. 
Imagine not knowing what is going on for the day and then suddenly being asked to stop playing or enjoying your time to go do something new. Or if you were in the middle of an activity (like work or coloring) and someone told you to change activities right that second. Its extremely difficult for them. As soon as you help her to acknowledge the feeling (and you acknowledge her feelings) and set a firm but gentle boundary that things will be happening ahead of time, it gets easier

Answer

Prep, prep and more prep.
Use pictograms and prep for what is about to happen. And make sure to leave in good time 😊

How to deal with two year old temper tantrums when you have no time!?

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