Huge blow out

My husband decided to start in on me about working. He told me in 2020 that I could continue to stay home with our youngest son because he makes enough to support us. I wasn’t able to stay home with my oldest an I feel/felt like I couldn’t bond well with him because I was worried more about work an stressing at home. Now he’s telling me I need to go back to work, that I’m the problem we have with bills an such. I get bitched at for paying bills when I need to because there’s not 500 in the account for him between paydays but get bitched at when the bills fall behind.

Now we got into a fight because he says that everything I bring up is an excuse to not go back to work an that I want to be a lazy bitch at home. He wants me to go back to work at a factory but then we are paying out 600$ or more for a daycare because his mom refuses to watch the youngest anymore. He thinks we will be ahead with me going back to work with paying health insurance an daycare but the problem is he doesn’t see a problem with him going out an spending money before bills are paid for the week which causes everything to be a mess.

He called me a bitch an told me to get a real fucking job, mind you I’m working from home sewing on military uniforms but he doesn’t believe that’s a real job. I also sell thirty one which isn’t bringing in as much as I’d like it to but it’s hard for me because i have a small network an not really sure how to expand it. I tried to explain things an help him see what’s going on but he doesn’t see it. So the fight got worse and worse. Then he started to pack a bag to leave an said he wants to see me make it on “14$” an he which I actually make more then that at home. I got the diaper bag together so I could take the kids an leave the house to cool off an he wouldn’t let me leave. He blocked the doorway. He got so pissed he kicked the baby gate into the kitchen an scared both kids. They started crying, then of course he make it out to be my fault that they are scared an crying. He told me I wouldn’t get the kids if I left, I tried to talk to him to move out of the way so I could leave the house an he kept telling me no an telling me I’m not going anywhere, I didn’t want to yell anymore but it got to the point where me talking wasn’t helping an he yelled in my face to fucking stop. I didn’t do anything to him I didn’t touch him or do anything I just asked him to move out of the way. I don’t know if I can take this anymore. He says he will work on getting better, but I don’t believe it will get better. It may for a few weeks maybe a couple months at most but then the same shit will start again. I’m always the problem. I’m always the one that’s going to be the problem. I can’t lose my kids.