Relationship advice help!

hey guys i’m sorry but i need a different perspective. me and my spouse been together for 2.5 years. i do still get shy around him when we are sexual. unless i’m under the influence i’m kinda hesitant on starting sex first because. 1. i really like being submissive and 2. i’m shy. but nevertheless idk how to stop being so shy to start first. i usually start but kissing him and SHD but let’s say on a regular daywhen he looks angry and upset he becomes distant it’s not so easy for me to do it and then i get nervous. idk what should i do to stop being shy.