Annoyed with partner out until 3am

My fiancé and I have an almost 8month old boy. I stay home and look after him and do all the housework/cooking while my partner works full time.

My partners recently started going to the pub after work with his workmates. At first it was just once a week and now it's about 3 nights per week.

Sometimes it doesn't bother me and other times it does, like I get he wants to blow off steam and socialise with the guys and thats OK but I never get told in advance so some evening I'm just there waiting for him to come home wondering if I should be cooking dinner or not. And other days like when my baby was teething it really annoyed me because our son was being so difficult I really couldve used a break. Quite often if he goes to the pub I end up putting our son to bed before he gets home so he doesn't see him at all that day.

And it just makes me laugh because he will be like I miss you two I feel like I never get to see you, and I want to tell him well stop going to the pub so much then but I bite my tongue.

Anyway this weekend he's got a long weekend, we had a friend over last night which was nice and then today went to one of my friends daughters 1st birthday party but left early because... He's going out drinking tonight with the work friends on a pub crawl.

Apparently they already organised it before he asked for a long weekend. So he left just before 5pm. Its 3am. He's not home. He said they weren't going to bars or clubs but the pubs would've shut ages ago. I text him asking if he was OK because he told me he was 'leaving early so he'd be home early' but he's read it and not replied so I guess I know he alive. Even without the not knowing where he is I'm annoyed it means he's gonna be tired all day tomorrow and I'm going to be alone looking after out son again.

Add to that this is the first time hes gone out out since I suffered from my depression and anxiety part of which was that I feel really insecure and constantly worry he's going to cheat on me or be interested in other women. I'm not saying he is but this would've been a really good opportunity for me to trust him if he'd been where he said he was or come home when he said he was.

I also know before we met he used to do coke and I don't judge him because I've done stuff like that before but would never do it now, we have a child ffs so if he's on it I'm gonna be fuming. And I did mention this yesterday as a joke when his friend brought it up. Now it's playing on my mind.

I know if it was roles reversed he would be so pissed off too. At this point I kind of don't even want him home. Uurgh why did I have to wake up to feed the baby, now I can't get back to sleep.

Am I being too harsh??