(If your gonna comment please read the entire thing first)

I'm crying over something stupid right now and I guess I need to vent. This is usually something that never bothers me but it's really getting to me this year.

I love doing special things for people on their birthdays. Not surprise parties or anything but like doing little things like personalized cakes, themed cakes of something they love ex; a Harry Potter cake, or a cake in the shape of the number of the age they’re turning, number balloons, chocolate strawberries that spell out their name. Little personal Things like that. I like making people feel special I guess it’s my love language.

It’s not exactly that I’m expecting the same thing back but deep down I wish my family put effort into my birthday. They always ask what I want for my birthday idk why because even if I give them a list of things I like, I still get just a card, maybe a chocolate bar, some cheap dollarstore face masks (that I can’t use cause I have eczema on my face and they know that) and I’m so grateful that they even get me things in the first place I’m thankful that they go out and get things FOR me. But it’s the fact that they don’t really seem to actually care it’s like they just get a gift because they have to, just to get it over with and don’t really put much thought into it. But everyone else in my family puts a lot of effort into each other’s birthdays and they don’t even have to ask. Maybe it’s cause I’m the middle child lol idk.

I don’t ask for much or anything expensive but one thing I ALWAYS wanted on my birthday was those big number balloons. Since I was 13 I asked everyone in my family for them every year, I’d even tell them where to buy them. They would always say ok but wouldn’t get them. I asked why once and everyone just said they didn’t have time. Understandable I know people are busy and the world doesn’t revolve around me. There was ONE time I finally got these for my birthday when I turned 22… because I bought them for myself.

One time when talking about Christmas gifts my mom told me that I am the easiest to please out of my sisters because I’m the most grateful.

Maybe that’s why people don’t put in an effort, cause they know that I’m thankful that they got something for me whether it’s something I like or not . So maybe they don’t feel a need to try cause they don’t know that I want to feel special too.

They know I hate being the centre of attention and know not to throw me a party, but I always tell them the types of things I would like. Like I point out things at stores and I’m like hey if you don’t know what to get me this is a good idea. Or “I always wanted to do this for my birthday” or “I always wanted to have birthday decorations like one of those happy birthday banners” they don’t seem to give a fuck.

It bothers me a little cause my sisters always get things that is very them. Like my sister got tons of avengers themed stuff cause she loves avengers, she asked for a cookie cake that says her name in big blue letters, she got that. My sister loves compasses. For her birthday I got her a customized compass and a personalized cake and she loved it. Last year and This year I showed her a photo of these letter shaped donuts that spell out happy birthday and told her I want these for my birthday and they make them and a shop near our house. She’s like why don’t you get them then? She always claims she doesn’t have money. But she works and doesn’t pay rent. She spends A LOT of money on her boyfriend. She’s constantly buying him hundred dollar gifts all year round. I sent her a photo of a birthday card I saw at the store it had buildings on it (I’ll post a photo) cause my family and anyone who knows me knows I LOVE buildings and airplanes. Those are like my top two interests lol (I so badly want an airplane shaped cake for a birthday someday. I asked for one before cause we saw one at Walmart and my mom said maybe cause $30 is over priced for a cake. Even though she just got a $500 prom dress for my sister. I’m turning 25 and haven’t had a cake since my 12th birthday. I don’t really have friends either so I might eventually just get a cake for myself lol) anyway I sent her that card and was like look at this card 😍 it has buildings on it! You can get this on my birthday if you want 😉

She didn’t respond. Later I showed it to her and she’s like ughh you showed me that already 🙄 get it then if you like it so much.

I know I sound like such a whiny little bitch. I really am grateful for what I do get. I know it sounds like I’m complaining but it’s just cause this is something that was bothering me deep down for a long time and it’s just getting to me and I needed to vent. I don’t wanna vent to my family cause then I’ll just sound selfish and like I’m complaining. But even as a kid my parents went all out for my sisters birthdays and still do. But mine has always been just another day.

Please be nice in the comments. I don’t post on here often but I read comments a lot of people are very mean to each other on here. Please be nice, I already feel sad right now. And I feel dumb for being sad about it. If you read this far thanks for listening to me vent.

Update: @ Ariana smols, I know not everyone can afford the same stuff I get them. But my family can afford those things for each other. They just don’t when it comes to me. Even things that are free, For example my family has one of those happy birthday banner things that’s kept in the basement that’s been taken out for everyones birthdays but it’s never been put up for my birthday. It’s not about the money for them, it’s that they don’t care