this is gaslighting, right?

so I'm not native to english so I'm not sure what gaslighting is other than what I've read here.

Anyways... for more context you could read my post "splitting the bills" that I wrote yesterday.

I spoke to my SO (we're together for 8 years) about that last month and he really disagrees with splitting the bills and he wanted to at least continue our way of doing things until after summer holidays so it doesn't affect the kids as much so we're doing that.

obviously financial struggles aren't our only issue, there is just basically no balance in our relationship. we are definitely not equals. I don't feel like I'm his equal in our relationship.

I told him and he was sorry I felt that way. but he didn't feel thesame way. So today I read a testimony about a girl who was a narcissist and how she knows she treats people and how it probably makes people feel, how she crosses their boundaries all the time, but she doesn't really care if she gets her way in the end.

I feel like I am treated that way, him persuading me to cross my own boundaries all the time to "please" him. I know his kids are as well.

So I sent him this testimony, because he's always saying things like "I don't know what is wrong with me" and "I don't know how to get proper help" and "help doesn't really help so it's pointless"

So I felt like, if he has an idea of what he has, then maybe it's easier to find the correct help.

So he read the testimony and really took it as a personal attack. I told him I sent it to him because how she describes how people feel around her, I feel around him. I don't know what goes on in his head, as she did explain that really well in the article, all open and honest (While I know he often isn't, as he said so himself.. sometimes he knows he's wrong but he still can't help it fighting for his stance, even though he's very aware he's wrong) maybe he had something to compare, maybe he recognizes her statement. He said "well then you should have just told me about it. Now I feel like you just text messaged me saying you've packed your stuff and left" I tell him that that is a weird comparison because I am obviously still here and am (so far) not breaking up with him.

So he's been a bit snidey about that today.. then I went to the shop with one of the kids and I came home and he's like "are you sure you're not cheating? because I found a shirt with mucus like things on your side of the bed when I was cleaning up and it looked like jizz and it definitely wasn't mine"

Well I know I'm not cheating so no panic because why should I right?

Well I went up to the bedroom and he hasn't even cleared the bedroom. Like at all, the laundry was still where it was.

I am seeing so many paterns this year.. idk..

like when he wants something from me, he'll do me favors I didn't ask for. Then basically tells me I need to do x, y or z for him because he did me a favor - I didn't ask for. As a recent example, a few weeks ago he folded 3 baskets of laundry, and in the evening he told me he needed a sexual reward for the effort he put into it. I told him I didn't want to, So he told me he didn't really want to do the folding. I told him that that wasn't even remotely comparable. He denied, he felt like it was exactly the same.

but also - lowkey- accusing me of cheating when I do or say something he doesn't like, like today.