Whose in the wrong?

Basically my son has been home since Tuesday. He has RSV and flu. He also goes to daycare which I’m sure is how he got sick. He is almost 3. He has bad behavioral issues as it is also. He is a very rough kid. I’m not one for hitting and spanking and screaming and “ putting the fear of god “ I’ve learned having 3 kids which my older two are well behaved that I used to be like that when they were little and it did no good. My partner works away from home. So he’s been gone all week. He works about 2 and a half hours away. So today is his day off and he’s up staying at his moms cause he didn’t wanna drive back. He said he didn’t wanna come home today cause he works again tomorrow and doesn’t wanna make the “ long “ drive so he’ll stay with her to relax. ( his mom lives one hour from where we live) at first I was understanding about. Driving can also take a toll on top of working. So I didn’t push it. But he can totally drive an hour home today and help me.

The thing is I stay at home with all the kids and I do everything. With my toddler being sick it’s made things 100x worse. He can’t be outside and play. We can’t go do anything. We have been stuck in the house for days. He’s having awful behaviors, im at my breaking point. I’m so overwhelmed today and just loosing my patience. My toddler is having major fits over taking his medicine ( it tastes bad ) I get it but today he is just not acting good and spits it out immediately. I give him a drink so after he puts it in his mouth he can swallow with something to make it easier and he spit it everywhere.

My partner is on face time and he’s telling me how I’m just letting him get away with everything that if he was home he would whoop his ass and scream at him till he was scared and listened. I gave him a small swat on the butt and he said I didn’t do it “ hard “ enough bc my son is still acting out. I’ve had him in time out over and over bc he won’t stay still. I’m out of patience today I’m exhausted from not getting sleep for days bc my son has been waking up multiple times coughing really hard every night and my partner is saying just over and over again that all I’m doing it letting him get his way and this is all my fault for not whooping his ass hard and basically screaming at him to get him scared. He keeps saying if he was home this wouldn’t be happening blah blah blah.

I hung up with him and told him if he’s going to criticize me then he needs to be home helping me instead of laying in bed at his moms. I have 3 damn children. Which I do basically all on my own. My older two like I said very behaved bc I am more gentle and caring and that works way better. Every child is different

I might not be doing it “ the right way “ but what really is the right way? Is beating your kids ass and screaming the way to get them to listen? I’m just really upset.

It just pisses me off that he’s not home helping me even though his moms house is only an hour away. He got sleep last night, there’s no reason he can’t be home helping me. Not only that but the kids haven’t seen him since Monday night.

I understand being worn out from working but I’m also worn out and as the father he still has too do his part also. I don’t ever get breaks and to just lay in bed and relax and watch Netflix. What do you guys think?