He’s protecting her name

My husband had an affair with a coworker. I found out by seeing their texts together. She knew about me and my kids and the fact he was married. He says they were just “friends” and he confided in her because of how she made him feel. He said he could talk to her and she made him feel good about himself and he says he did it because of how she treats him. He said I treated him poorly and ruined his confidence so he found it in her. I’ve asked all the questions like

What about her was better?

What does she look like?

Does she look better than me?

Why did you even talk to her?

What about her made it worth it to throw away your family?

Who is she?

He refuses to give me anything more than her last name. Says he’ll never tell me her first name because I’ll just use it against him and continue to fight him. It took 3 years for him to even admit to getting nudes from her after I begged him for answers.

I’m struggling to move on because I don’t know anything about her other than her sexting my husband and sending him nudes. Am I wrong for wanting to know what she looked like or who she was? Why does he not want me to know?

He says he won’t have an affair again because it “ruined his life” and by that I mean he gets upset that I’ve not moved past it.