Doubtful about ttc?

Did any of you ladies ever change your mind about having kids?

Like for years you were sure about having them in the future but now that the time comes (emotionally and financially stable etc) you're having doubts because you're aware of the life and the freedom you might experience without them?

I have never felt so guilty tbh. My fiance has always said he wants kids if I want them but would be happy either way. I have always been looking forward to having a baby. In fact I still do, I even have vivid dreams about being pregnant. But as I grow older I kind of realize that I would be perfectly happy with or without. Many of my friends don't want kids ever. None of my friends have kids yet. 2 close family members are pregnant and 1 close friend ttc, while I'm truly happy for them and us looking forward to meeting their babies, I'm also very aware of the great life we have now with just the two of us. I will definitely discuss my thoughts with my SO soon of course!

With the wedding a year away and so many people around us now ttc and people expecting us to ttc after the wedding. It kinda feels suffocating. I'm turning 30 soon so there's also the age part. I always wanted to be a young mom but we've been together for 11 years so I've come to terms with that being a little different than what I had hoped. So much has happened in between and I still don't feel ready. And I realize that we still have quite some years to decide.

I'm not saying I completely changed my mind about having kids ever, just very very aware of how lucky we are now as women that we have a choice and not sure which choice is for me. It's just I never see any posts about it going the other way around. I'm wondering if anyone has been in the same boat?