Red Flag husband

I’m hoping I make sense when I type this. Did anyone else’s bf’s/partner have some major red flags? While dating and/or married? And younger you just put up with them and now regret everything years later. When my husband and I met there were I’ll admit a lot of red flags that I totally looked passed. For example: I don’t like porn, I find it disrespectful and don’t want it in my relationships. I’ve found him numerous times watching and helping himself and in the moment I’d be so upset but would later just get over it. Example 2: in the very beginning of our relationship he told me I was the only girl he was talking to, but I wasn’t, he was even telling a female friend that while I was away @ work they could lay in our bed together and cuddle 🤢 again, I got super upset but eventually “forgot” about it (Women never forget anything) Example 3: he had 3 emotional affairs in 2019, after I explicitly asked him not to have anymore contact with the women involved. The last one should of been the nail in the coffin for me and I’m finally realizing I should’ve never been with him in the first place. Ive been out through so much bullshit with him and I’m so emotionally and mentally scarred from it all. Now he’s trying to be the better but can’t understand why I’m struggling with the past and keeps saying if we want our relationship to work I need to “leave the past in the past” Obviously I’ve had my own faults over the years and have caused a number of problems (I’m a recovering alcoholic) but I’m so disgusted by everything I’ve endured and essentially told him was ok for 7 years

I don’t know how to move on or if I really loved him.