I feel lost and unsupported

Ugh I feel like my life is going south so bad.

To start with.. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years now. There has been talk of marriage but he really put it off way in the future, even though he had asked me, now this summer he was almost forcing me to get married FAST for financial reasons, but I have pushed back saying it's not sensible to get married now we got some issues I want to work through etc.

Anyways I have been reading and watching this doctor Ramani, advised by someone on here, and I know I'm not a psychologist, but I truly feel asif he's a narcist, and I know it's almost a fashion word but he truly absolutely and even by his own admittance checks a lot a lot of boxes. Honestly I don't think he'd be diagnosed because he doesn't really tell the full truth to a psychiatrist anyways because he doesn't want them to think badly about him. We have a 2yo and we both work nights. This is possible because I work from home. As this pregnancy was way planned and I got pregnant before covid, I was supposed to be working from home 80% after the baby came as well. due to covid, I got to work from home 100% until now But also due to covid, the company head, stationed abroad, decided on new worldwide policy allowing max 50% working from home. I can simply not come up with any feasible childcare solutions in my area (I'm not in the USA) to cover the entire time I'd be away to work and I really would not leave my 2yo alone at home so I need to just find a different job (there's nothing I can do legally because my contract basically puts all power in the company so I just have to quit, but I don't want to quit without having anything else lined up because we do not have savings - as I'm living with a (narcist) who claims all my income and never gives back)

So I'm here struggling to find a different job within a month, while I really just want to save money and leave my partner and create a healthy home with and for our child and where I'm able to be myself and can continue to grow by myself, be the person I want to be without someone constantly dragging me down mentally and emotionally and financially and energetically... I'm just done with all that. I don't feel like I can live my life at all.

So yeah..

I feel like I'm stuck. Like everything is going to go down the drain.. job gone, house gone, relationship gone (which would be a good think but they're all big changes by themselves and now I'm almost forced to take them all at once.) oh and my kid is starting school in February as well.. he's never really been away from me at all so this is going to be so hard as well..

it's like 4:19 in the morning right now and I just can't sleep...