Not Sure I want Kids- Married

The last 2 weeks of my life has just been turned upside down. I married my husband 1 year ago but dated since end of 2016. I have always being nervous, afraid and unsure about having kids. Well, “unsure” is new. I always just thought I was afraid and would eventually do it. But not like the most excited about it. I don’t look at kids and say “oh my ovaries”. But I also don’t want to die without a child if that makes sense. My husband and I agreed earlier this year that I would go off my Birth control and start trying in December. Yesterday, I told him I’m not ready and need more time- maybe 2 years. He lost it and said no!! He doesn’t see any point waiting and I had no good reason. He has every right to be upset- he is going on 36 and I 33 (I know I have a clock). He says he wouldn’t wait 2 years to be told I’m not ready again. What breaks my heart the most is the fact that he thought maybe I just didn’t want to have kids with him. I have been like this and had these thoughts all my life but I thought meeting the right guy, getting married and all that will change but as I get older and closer to trying- I become scared and unsure. I decided to go to therapy and find out what the issue is and if its just fear or just not wanting it. I think I want it later honestly but not in the nearest future. I just don’t feel mentally or emotionally ready. I don’t look at my friends with kids and go “oh I can’t wait”. My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m afraid I would lose him if I don’t agree to trying within the next year. I knew he always wanted kids and he thought I just had the usual fear of childbirth. I didn’t realize how deep this is until the last 2 weeks when I found myself googling “how do you know you want kids. ”What is wrong with me? What do I do?