BFF Wedding

I was chosen to be maid of honor. Friend got married through the courts so I gave her a hefty financial gift. She is having a destination wedding on a holiday weekend which flight already surpasses gift amount. Then have to pay for resort. Now she wants a 65 person bridal shower and a destination bachelorette. My anxiety is through the roof and when I brought it up to her, she got defensive but also felt like she’s burdening me. Idk how to bring it up to her or talk to her about all this. Had I known I’d spend this much on bachelorette, bridal shower, and wedding I wouldn’t have given her this gift. Thoughts?