Just to complain/rant

I have literally been so consumed and overwhelmed lately. It’s like I’m crying every other day. TTC for our second kid never had me thinking this would be this hard. I was cleared and checked for PCOS in late February, but everything seemed okay with me. Doc had high hopes I would be coming in pregnant within the next month. It’s been almost 6 months since being cleared by doc. We have not professionally checked my husband yet, other than the at home sperm count tests (which shows him low) We have been trying for 2 full years. Miscarriages back to back in September and December of last year. It’s like my body WILL not get pregnant and I just am soooo tired of being so sad. I don’t understand why it has to hurt so much ahahaha. I feel like I talk to the same people over and over about my grief and I feel like I can be so annoying. Idk. I just never thought I would be so jealous and impatient over something in my life. The doc can’t see us again until late September and it just feels like time is so freaking slow. I don’t know how to not be so overwhelmed with it.

Anyways. I just wanted to type something to get the thoughts outta my head.