I chose my boys, I chose my life, and I chose happiness!

I chose my boys, I chose my life, I chose happiness!

I’m currently 33 weeks pregnant and have a 3 year old toddle. Here’s a little back story. I’ve been in an abusive relationship before with my son’s father and after 2 years I decided to get back out there and date again. My current boyfriend was older him 32 me 23. We started dating things were amazing in the beginning. Even tho we live 1 hour apart. We went on dates, we saw each other often, and our communication was great. I found out I was pregnant and things changed and quickly. He started having money issues. Once that started communication started to slip, He worked 12 hour shifts and most days I wouldn’t hear from him at all. If I noticed it was time for him to be off I’d shoot him a text asking how was work and he’d reply with this dry ass reply and say “fine” and then went home to go to sleep. This went on for weeks. I finally decided to have a conversation with him about the communication, and about how I was feeling. I felt that that he wasn’t really putting any effort toward the relationship anymore and he completely blew up on me. He said I was needy for attention and just bc we are in a relationship doesn’t mean we have to communicate all the time. He said this shows my age and how immature i am. He said he’s trying to get extra money and that’s all that matters. He made me feel crazy for even bringing up how I felt. Well about one more week goes by I was fed up and I’m still barely hearing from him, and out of the blue I get this long message from him telling me how he’s been fired for insubordination ( he tried smarting off to his supervisor since he saw other coworkers do it and get away with it ). After he lost his job he filed for unemployment and started searching for a new job and then it was like a 180 he started wanting to spend time together and communicate more. I started to feel happy again. This lasted for maybe 3 weeks. He still didn’t have a job but started the cycle of barely communicating and blamed it on depression from losing his job and how he hated his supervisor and was having thoughts of wanting to go up to his old job and just shoot him. I tried giving him words of encouragement and let him know that things would look up, and after 3 months of being unemployed he got a job stocking at Walmart , which was a start right. I decided to let him work and get used to the job he was doing pretty good with the communication but after a couple weeks of course the same pattern is back. I started just accepting it. We were barely communicating, haven’t seen each other in months, he would call me here and there to vent about how the job doesn’t pay enough etc but other than that nothing. During this time I started preparing for the baby and getting essential things. This entire time he didn’t contribute anything. While he was unemployed I didn’t say anything I was trying to be supportive and allow him to get on his feet. Well he had been working at Walmart for about 2 months now so I decided to have a conversation with him. I asked if he could help me get some things for the baby’s arrival and he blew up he said why would I ask him for money when I know he’s struggling. He said I’m just a gold digger, I’m money hungry, I have a good job and I’m not hurting for money so I shouldn’t even be asking him to contribute anything. Matter of fact why am I not helping him pay his bills? I’m supposed to pick up the slack when he’s struggling. He goes on to say that his father said it’s my job to cover his bills while he’s struggling and why don’t I have his back. He said that to tell his son to stop asking him for money. I was completely shocked but I didn’t act out of character I just simply told him we are not married and it’s not my responsibility. I have bills too that I have to pay, and as far as the baby it’s his responsibility as well to contribute to getting things for the baby it shouldn’t all fall on me. After that he said I was evil and completely wrong. He said he had plans on proposing but I’m showing him I’m not “down” for him. How could I be ready for marriage and I won’t even help pay his bills? After this conversation I was completely done I felt like I deserved better and decided to take a step back and still prepare for the baby and not focus on the relationship to much. About 2 weeks later he calls to tell me his home is in pre-foreclosure so I asked what he’s been doing with the money from his paychecks, but I never got a straight answer but he tells me he took $4k to pay up the house note to get it out of pre-foreclosure. He also just received a notification that his electricity would be turned off if they didn’t receive a payment. My question still remained what was he doing with his money from his paychecks. His answer was the money was just sitting there and he was not paying the bills on time trying to let his money build up. Which I thought was absolute bs. I told him that was very irresponsible and I don’t have extra money to pay the light bill. He got upset and hung up. I’m 33 weeks pregnant now and have felt completely alone this entire time as if I’m still a single mother. I decided to call him and tell him it’s over I have to move on with my life and we can coparent. He begged and pleaded with me to not leave him that he could change everything. He doesn’t want to coparent. That he’s not abusive towards me so I shouldn’t be running away from this relationship. The grass won’t be greener on the other side. But I felt nothing and told him my mind was made up and that I was completely fed up. We haven’t seen each other in months, we barely communicate despite my attempts too, and that I deserve my happiness. He hung up in my face of course. But for some reason I felt the sunshine. I walked outside and seen a rainbow and felt nothing but peace come over my life. I’m a nurse and that same day I received a letter in the mail to inform me that I was getting a huge raise and a promotion. I’m approved for a brand new home for me an my boys so I get to start house hunting. I guess the grass is greener on the other side and God always provides❤️