huge red flag, right?

I met my current partner at my job.

We're together for almost 8 years.. he asked me to marry him like 4 years ago, I said yes, but whenever talks were about marriage he was holding it off or sending mixed signals all the time.. like one day he wants no guests or people the other day he wants his whole family included.. one day wanting a location wedding other day just a bbq in the yard.. like really making it impossible to plan.

All through that I feel like he's always been gaslighting and financially abusing me (he had full control over ALL my assets by 4 months together through manipulation.. I had really opened up to him about my family life which was totally screwed up and he definitely used that against me) but though it made me feel very unhappy and insecure and uncomfortable.. I didn't realize that was not normal... So now that I do... I am wanting to leave and I have been pulling back so this summer he frantically wanted to jump getting married saying that if we got married things would be better financially. He was going to put me into more debt than he already did and I called it off... (shared his plans to "make it better" by taking more loans as I already told him 3 loans ago that I'd leave him if he he asked that of me)

Definitely because the last few years have been worse.

We had a baby, and ever since I started talking about a baby now and then he'd mention that I should quit working (we're not in the US and we need both jobs to stay alive essentially.. so it doesn't make sense) and I didn't take it seriously until he actually mentioned to our tax guy like wouldn't it be better if she stopped working all together? and the tax guy was like.. she has this amount of money every month, why the hell would you want her to quit working, it really doesn't make sense and tax guy was pretty stern and serious about this. I was like allright I'm not going to let him bully me to quit my job and this tax guy isn't going to be used to pressure me. (may be important to note that he's trying to keep my friends away as well. like saying super weird stuff about them like them saying mean things about me to others and then he picked it up by their men and he's just looking out for me whatever.. I am now starting to see through all his bullshit so I talked to my friend she said he's all full of shit and I believe her while I seriously never really did believe him as he tells stupid little and not so little lies to everyone)

Now coming the the essence of red flags and the question I tried to ask.. my job is making a change and it's no longer possible to combine with parenting our kid. So I am looking for a new job and my partner is 100% boycotting my job searching. The thing is.. that as long as I don't have this new job, I cannot leave his ass because we both work nights. as long as I work nights I can't leave because there won't be anyone to look after our kid.

So I feel so trapped. I feel so.. stuck.. I just want that new job but he's making me unavailable for interviews and phonecalls and nagging me whenever I am working on my resume or writing letters of application.. I just don't know what to do anymore...

(may be important to note that emotional and financial abuse aren't recognized as abuse where I am, because they are so hard to prove, so I actually can't get to organized help for abused women and obviously the financial abuse makes me a little short on money)