My boo thinks I’m overreacting. Am I ?

Question

I met this guy off of tinder and we have been dating for 1 month and a few days. We were talking about how we looked each other up on social media to find socials and he said that he found something on me …. So I was like what… and I honestly thought he was about to tell me about a guy on my page that was liking pictures or making comments but this man brings up my MOTHERFREAKING MUGSHOT. Can you say EMBARRASSING AS HELL?!?!? Although, it is a few years old. It honestly took me a long time to heal from some of the mistakes I’ve made. I’m still healing honestly and I was not ready to talk about it. I couldn’t deny it but I just simply said “yeah, I don’t even know what to say right now” and now he’s all apologetic and saying how he shouldn’t have brought it up. I mean if I felt like the time I went to jail was important to our relationship or it needed to be brought up because of a circumstance, I DEFINITELY would have told him. Every year around the time I got into the situation, I go through a little seasonal sadness. Of course I just work my way through it but the mental toll it has on me sometimes really makes me feel incompetent. (only when I’m going through the seasonal part, which is now) every time, I think I have made 1 step forward, people love to bring up things that are not really important. I already get enough shit from employers. I can’t even be affectionate with him right now. The Gemini in me wants to stop dating him and just find someone else but I actually like him and I think he’s a good dude. 
I just want to know am I overreacting?

Answer

Yes. You’re overreacting. 
This is a part of your past and who you are. You need to come to terms with it, accept it and move on. 
This person is a mostly a stranger to you, still getting to know you and he googled you just like many of us do. Did you think he wasn’t going to ask? You’re essentially blaming him for finding out your past. It didn’t sound like a judgement. Do you think you can have a meaningful relationship without sharing these big things in your life? 
Stop letting this define you. You’re letting your past dictate your happiness and how you feel towards others AND about yourself. It sounds like it’s time for therapy. You went to jail. You paid your dues. Put it to bed.

Answer

Overreacting I've been through the same & n always use that time to brag about myself & how far I've came. Embrace it...it made you who you are now!!

Answer

ur overreacting. u have a mugshot, u went to jail. hypothetically you could’ve done something dangerous so i mean… i would be upset if i was w someone n found out they went to jail cause u never know what someone could’ve went to jail for or if they’re a dangerous person.

Answer

I think you're overreacting, I know it's only been a month since you've been with him and yeah maybe he shouldn't have been digging info up on you, but fact is he did and was surprised by what he found... Not knowing why a partner was in jail previously can be a problem in a relationship, I've dealt with it personally but my significant other told me upfront for this very reason, he wanted me to hear it from him.

Answer

yea overreacting. it’s public record. anyone and their mama can look you up and find your mugshot. you should probably learn to accept that, and know that you’ve grown from that place in your life because when it comes time to get a new job or buy a home or anything in the big firm adult world, they’re gonna run a background check and know these things and question you, and you cannot act this way towards a person simply doing their job. 
but honestly i mean you’re kinda being a bit hypocritical in my opinion because you also looked him up, and would probably do the same thing had HE been arrested before. so maybe in the future try to be a little more upfront and honest and own your shit. fuck yeah i’ve been arrested, that was a different time in my life, but that’s not me anymore i’ve grown and flourished and i’m a different person now. you can be great and do great things, even with a record! trust me!

Answer

Um yeah you are. You may not think it’s important but it probably is (I don’t know any context) but I don’t believe it’s a reason to cut someone off. You can talk about it when you’re ready but I’d probably bring it up if I found a mugshot aswell.

Answer

I think you should continue to give it a chance. It’s public information so whether you tell him or not he was going to find out anyway. You also can’t blame him for bringing it up as most people would. It also sounds like he’s empathizing with you about you not being ready to talk about it yet. Don’t let your embarrassment ruin what could be a great thing for you. If not him you’ll ge through this with someone else eventually and not everyone is going to be this understanding about the situation and would demand answers immediately or maybe even not give it a chance. It doesn’t sound like he’s giving you slack for it.

My boo thinks I’m overreacting. Am I ?

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