Over it

This post is just for me to express my feelings so I’m really just venting to vent..I’m over being pregnant and I just want my baby here! I am 31 weeks and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel..I’m getting induced at 37 weeks due to medical reasons. My easy, healthy pregnancy has turned high risk in my third trimester and I don’t want to show my worry to my husband because he’s already broken down in tears once over it. But I’m so scared for her and for myself. I don’t know want anything to possibly happen to her. I’ve been on the brink of preeclampsia the past couple of weeks and they’ve diagnosed me with gestational hypertension. My blood work the first time was fine but the protein in my urine was high. This time, protein in my urine was normal but my liver enzymes almost doubled. I know the doctors have this under control and are monitoring me twice a week, every week, but it all makes me so nervous. I’m scared to get induced and I’m scared to get an epidural, I’m not against the epidural, just scared. I’ve read the pros and cons of everything. I just want her here safe in my arms. I’ve had morning sickness for almost the entirety of my pregnancy, constant congestion, I’ve gotten actually sick 3 times (i work in the schools so sick kids are inevitable it feels like) and insomnia like no other. Now that I’ve hit my third trimester, almost everything has subsided symptom wise and now this diagnosis. It really makes me nervous to ever get pregnant again, but i really want a second baby. I know that’s a ways down the road but my mind can’t help but to go there. Feeling her move around and seeing her interact with us has been the coolest thing ever. I love her so much and i just need her here. She is a very healthy baby and is growing so fast and she’s so strong. I know other mommas have had it so much worse and harder than me and all I can say is you are so strong and amazing. It amazes me what some women go through and come out on top.