Pregnancy is not going as planned 😔

I went into this pregnancy hoping and praying for a VBAC. The odds were against me but I did my research and even had to switch OBs so I could find a provider comfortable enough to follow through with one.

I have worked hard this pregnancy. Ate a great diet, going on walks every day. Here I was celebrating that at 28 weeks I had only gained 10lbs.

At 28 weeks I failed my glucose test. Tried not to stress, knew I could make a big impact with a diet low in carbs. So I started!

The following week I failed my 3hr test and was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.

I put in hours of research on it. I immediately ordered books about it and followed specific guidelines. I have been eating better than ever on a somewhat of a “soft Keto” diet. I am still incorporating vegetables that have starches, but avoiding processed foods all together.

I am taking my blood glucose 4xs a day and I am doing WONDERFUL!! ALL of my number have been 80-110.

I go into my appointment today… no weight gain, yay! Blood pressure is 110/75, yay!

And my doctor gives me a verbal pat on the back for the great diet and great numbers!! …..

BUT!!

The most important number which is my glucose after waking/fasting is consistently above 100. It’s suppose to be at 80 or lower. So now my doctor is concerned. She said I have been able to control the rest of my day with this great diet, but even when I have been doing my best my blood glucose is going up while I sleep rather than down (putting all the blame on my placenta).

Then…

THEN! She comes back and says that there is protein in my urine 😭😭😭😭😭

Even though I have never had high blood pressure now I am being evaluated for pre-eclampsia

I now have 2 appointments every week until my now planned c-section at 39 weeks 😔

I am broken. I don’t know what more I can do. I feel all the guilt and I am devastated. I want to crawl under a rock today