To start off I fully believe my diagnosis and I’m not looking for miracle stories. I actually want the opposite, I just need people to tell me they’ve experienced what I have and I’m not going crazy.

I found out I was pregnant pretty early somehow, I was on the depo shot so had no periods but I woke up one morning with a pregnancy dream and brown spotting and decided to take a test to ease my worries. It was positive and the next day I was doing bloodwork. It came back low and two days later only went up 8%. Three days later it dropped almost 50% (numbers were 87,95,46). In this short time I went from having symptoms as nausea, no appetite, bloating, sporting, cramping, and peeing every 20 minutes. Then slowly they stopped. Next week I go in for more blood work to see if the numbers are 0.

Here is where I feel like I’m going crazy. I get nauseous Everytime I eat, the spotting I had for a week of brown discharge stopped and now there is weird whitish discharge. I haven’t bled yet and everything points to a missed miscarriage. My doctors just say all bodies are different and aren’t helpful with any questions. I took a left over at home digital test to see if maybe things are over but it’s still positive.

I just want this to be over honestly. I was okay with being pregnant and was going to keep it but now I feel stuck in this limbo of pregnant but not pregnant.