Husband made me feel bad.

Feeling like a bad mom.

My husband and I are first time parents. Our daughter is 11 months old and growing so healthily. I’ve been nursing for her whole life and have been home everyday to care for her. My husband has also been home during this time but I did/do the majority of taking care of her. (Diaper changes, food (besides milk) and play). Last Monday I returned to work for half days (teaching) so I’m gone 4 hours in the morning. It’s the longest he’s had to care for her on his own.

Anyway, today my hubby gave our daughter my circle mirror that rotates around, one side magnifies and the other is normal. I’ve never let her play with it because it’s not a toy but daddy gave it to her so of course I’ll watch her and I played with her looking in the mirror no big deal. Then hubby comes out to talk to me about something. I gave him my attention while trying to still watch baby and within second she pinched her finger really hard in the mirror and cried so much. Her nail turned red and I think it bruised it a little. Daddy picked her up and immediately blamed me for not watching her. While I do take responsibility and I do feel really bad I don’t think it was all my fault since he was there too. I was defensive and said that he distracted me from her. We tried to put ice on her finger, and I nursed her to calm her down; she stopped crying and was fine.

Then he said that she always gets hurt when she’s in MY care. He referred to almost a month ago when her and I woke up from a nap, I turned around to turn on the light and she pulled herself off the bed. He was in the living room. (It was her first fall and it was the worst moment of my parenthood, I cried more than she did). And it really hit a nerve that he brought it up again. And now he said that she smashed her finger while in my care and that I don’t pay attention to her. (All I do all day for 11 months is pay attention to her and try to give him enough attention!!) He also complains about her gagging while eating thicker foods. I try to feed her foods she can try chewing and of different consistency and he doesn’t because he doesn’t like the gagging and doesn’t want her to choke. So he blames me for her gaging (he said she was choking once but I was able to tell that she was not choking, but I patted her back anyway just incase).

He said “she never gets hurt with me because I watch her”. Which so far isn’t often. I’m glad he watches her and she hasn’t gotten hurt when I’m away. But I feel like shit because he threw it in my face that she only gets hurt when I’m around...

it makes me sad but I don’t want to cry. (He gets annoyed when I cry).