Why am I like this?

I used to love LOVE and now thinking about a relationship disgusts me. I used to be such a hopeless romantic, i wanted that one of a kind love now I don’t see myself wanting to get married. This was before my toxic relationship of 4 years. He was a narcissistic asshole. I know of course that plays a role but how can it completely change me when I’m doing so much better now? I’ve always had hope even after all the shitty men I’ve experienced. It upsets me because I can’t even fake like relationships for my friends because I just see them as they’re wasting their lives and I always ask them like, “How can you actually like someone?” I can’t imagine having feelings for anyone, it’s insane. Maybe i’ll get bored and want a quick fuck but being emotionally involved with someone.. I don’t see it working out for long. I’d probably get annoyed or bored…