I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months, long distance. We see each other every month, usually me visting him (about a week or two) - tho he helps to pay the ticket. We also lived together for 3 months. Well, this month he decided to use the rest of his free days on a trip with his best friend, which means that he probably won't be able to visit me at all this year. It also means it's on me to visit him. It made me really upset that he would rather travel with a friend that lives 30 mins away from him and he can see him whenever, rather than using it to see me, considering he can't visit me without free days and he can see his best friend whenever their schedules are free.

I only have problem with this because of the distance and it being the only way to see me. Im using all of my free days to see him so I think its only fair he does the same. He said he didnt ask me to do that, which i think is a really stupid thing to say. Once again, if we just lived in the same country and I could see him on weekends like he sees his friend, I would have 0 problem with going on that trip. In fact, I'd be more than happy to wish him to have fun and send him away to enjoy a bit with a friend. The problem is that he is using free days on the friend 30 mins away knowing he won't be able to visit me.

Even worse for me is that i'm pretty much working as a cleaning lady, cleaning toiletts and trash and some disgusting things that i wont go in details of to earn enough money to visit him once more this year, while being a full time double degree student (40 h of classes a week). He is only working as a train driver. It just makes me feel like "why am i doing all of this for someone that obviously isnt that eager to see me?". He always says he misses me like crazy but then..... He is fine with not seeing me for like 3 months so he could be with a friend....???

I just feel so stupid and upset that i'm trying so hard to see him and visit while he is deciding to risk it for someone he sees whenever he wants to.