When I was 13 years old my brother who was 19/20 at the time assaulted me. I don’t like talking about it because it makes me sick to my stomach. Anyways, I contacted the police to get a restraining order on my grandma as when it eventually came out they targeted me as if it were my fault. At the time, being a minor I didn’t know talking to the police and tellling them why I wanted a restraining order on my grandma would mean I’d have to go to court. It took years but when I was 18/19 I was in court against my brother & he was charged but no jail time just probation and some other things. At 13 after this happened my dads side of the family made my life hell. They ran me out of the town I was in I just couldn’t take it. Family was showing up at my school and yelling shit about me and the situation. Family would contact my friends, follow me around so I left. I had no one, my dad didn’t talk to me about it because it was hard. His son sexually assaulted his daughter. He hasn’t talked to my brother since.. my mom was there for me as my brother is my dads child from another person. I haven’t had contact with my family since, I haven’t had contact with my brother since. I never went to therapy, I never really talked about it or resolved some of the trauma that came from it. Night terrors, anxiety, depression, shutting down. I just get by. When I left home at 14/15 I went down a bad path. Dropped out of high school, got into shit then I changed up and started working full time and got my own place… my life was altered. I lost my friends, my family, my mental health was and is shit. I lost my education because I ran and didn’t want to go back so I had to support myself but I’m here and alive.. my brother tried killing himself recently. My sister messaged me going on and on about it.. how he lost everything, how he’s depressed, how our dad should regain contact as it’s his son. Even brought up the sexual assault and how it affected his life. just the full on pity him card. I don’t feel bad, I can’t bring myself to feel sympathy and sadness to a man who took so much from me. A man who was supposed to protect me, be my sibling. He’s remained in contact with my dads family just not my dad. He didn’t really loose anything, he got a slap on the wrist after admitting to doing this (but said it was consensual) he got to keep his family, he got to keep his life. I get loosing a dad is hard but I mean, come on? You assaulted your sister and I think that outcome that he got wasn’t as bad as it should’ve been. I told my sister i can’t find sympathy for him but I feel bad that that happened. I tried to be respectful and considerate.. she turns around and says at least I had support, at least I have my family at least this and that and poor him. I don’t have my family, I don’t have shit. I didn’t get support, I have suffered ever since. He did a vicious thing to me and I should what? Feel bad for him because he’s sad? I should push my dad to talk to him? That’s why she messaged me. I know it .. I am so bitter about it. I just needed to vent