I just need to vent or rant or I don’t know. I need to talk to someone. And I don’t have family or friends to talk to about it.

I have been married for over a year, and have been with my partner for over 2 years now. My partner is AMAZING, so supportive and helpful and just the best partner you could ask for. But, his parents….. I don’t know, I want to have a good relationship with them. But, I don’t know if it’s the best for my mental health.

My husband has a high school ex (we have been out of high school for 6 years now.) she was physically and mentally abusive towards him, she also admitted to cheating on him multiple times. My husband has told him parents many MANY times that she makes him uncomfortable and he doesn’t like her because of the things she has done. He would prefer her not knowing about his life and him not knowing about hers. Well, that is not the case. They do NOT have any kids together just to get that out there.

My husbands ex is still invited to all family functions and they go hang out with her, and support her. His family is still 100% on her side. His mother helped plan her baby shower and she put it on for her. (My mil also told me as she was planning it my husbands ex girlfriends mom just kept going on and on about how could my mil ever learn to love me since I live in a different state with my husband instead of with her. I guess I was the topic that night.)

That wouldn’t bother me if my mil didn’t lie about it.

My mil has been lying for months saying she has no contacted with this girl, only when she brings her car into their shop to fix it. My mil will go out of her way to bring it up to let me know she “promises” she has nothing to do with her, she doesn’t talk to her and won’t. Well, social media has proved her wrong time and time again. My husbands ex is always posting photos with my mil tagging her in things. Being like “thank you for spending the day with me. Girls day was great!” Or “thank you for hosting my daughter birthday!” And my mil replies to it all saying she was so happy to do it for her and hang out with her and all that. We have told her we can see if.

I don’t care if she wants to be her friend, that’s fine. But, don’t lie to me, don’t tell me you promise to have nothing to do with her and turn around and do. If you want to have a relationship with that girl that’s fine, but be honestly with us so we can decide if we still want to be as involved with you and the family. I feel like that’s not wrong of me to want.

I just feel like my heart is broken, because I opened up with my mil lately. I don’t have my parents in my life, I don’t have family members. I didn’t grow up with a healthy family and now I don’t have one still. She knows that, and I have been dealing with a lot the past few months and I opened up more than ever with her. And she just lied to me, I feel like an idiot.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to not be lied to? And to have the choice to decide if I want to keep having a relationship with them if the want to be friends with someone that makes my husband and I uncomfortable? Because if I am in the wrong please let me know, and please help me figure out how to be better in this situation. I just want to go no contact and let them live their life with his ex and my husband and I live our life by ourselves. I feel like that’s not wrong. My in laws are also coming over at the end of the month, I don’t really want them to now. But it’s already planned out so I am going to welcome them and enjoy their time and be nice, but after they leave I think I want to take a step away.

I don’t know, thank you for listening. I want to do what’s right, but I also don’t want to mess with myself mentally.

Ugh family 😭