Does it get better??

I’m almost 20 weeks.. 19 weeks and 3 days.. I miscarried in may around 4/5 weeks.. today I finally had the guts to walk into a buy buy baby and just look around.. I found myself getting excited with tears in my eyes bc I want my daughter here so badly.. I went into a buy buy baby immediately when I found I was pregnant the first time in may, and going back in now has me worried… illogical I know worrying that just bc I went into buy buy baby last time and miscarried that I went again I’m scared I’ll miscarry.. I want to be excited so badly. I want to buy clothes, and be able to talk about her being born without saying “if all keeps going well”.. I want to be normal but I’m so scared of losing her… I will lose myself.. I want so badly to be a mother.. does this feeling ever go away? Will I worry like this for another 20 week?? I just want to be excited without feeling like it’s too good to be true for me.. I just want her in my arms safe and sound..