We are finally pregnant again after 3 losses and are on the cusp of telling some family and friends but today during a family outing my SIL shared that she and her partner had made the tough decision to have a termination a few weeks ago and has been experiencing conflicting emotions about it (understandably). We would have been due very close together and it would have been her third baby. After our outing today I sent her a message telling her I loved her and was here if she needed anything but otherwise I just let her talk while we were together

This week we are supposed to go for our 12 week scan. The plan was to take our 4 year old and surprise her and then let her organically share the news at a family get together a few days later. I'd still love to do this but I've been in my SILs position and I know how much that kind of surprise can hurt so hubby and I are trying to find someone else to accompany us to mind her during the scan

I've always appreciated finding out others pregnancy news via text because I can let my own grief and jealousy take centre stage privately before I'm ready to celebrate and I feel like this is how I should share our news with her but how do I word a text like that? And when? After the get together Next weekend we should be able to avoid hubby's side of the family until Christmas if need be but I also don't know how much longer I can hide it and I don't want her to hear it through the grapevine and not directly from me.

Any help would be appreciated