Would you be upset or feel offended if your partner said they didn’t want to have anymore kids with you?

My bf and I have been together 4 almost 5 years have a 2 year old. I got pregnant again earlier this year by surprise (not planned) and I was happy, he seemed happy too. But I had a miscarriage. I took it very hard I cried for weeks and still cry to this day about it but he almost seemed unbothered in a way. I didn’t expect him to be tore up about it like I was since he’s a guy and I miscarried kinda early. But I keep hinting and trying to bring up the conversation that I want another baby and he almost always shuts it down immediately by making comments like “no I’m not having anymore kids with you” “you can get pregnant again but it won’t be by me” just stuff that hurts my feelings and confuses me because I thought we were happy about the baby we lost? We also love our 2 year old to death but idk it just makes me upset when he says stuff like that because I know for a fact I want more children and honestly would like to start trying to get pregnant again soon but am starting to think we are on different pages.. what should I do? I don’t want my kids having big age gaps but don’t think he’s gonna want another baby any time soon..

518 views • 6 upvotes • 12 comments

COMMENT (12)

Bi

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I wouldn’t be upset about everything but the very pointed, “with you” comments, and about you getting pregnant by another man. What a strange & unusually punishing way to say that???

Ja

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It doesn’t seem like he sees a future with you. He didn’t say he didn’t want any more kids. He said he didn’t want any more kids with you. There’s a difference. I think it may be time to move on, honestly. I wouldn’t want to bring another child into this world with a man who isn’t fully committed to me.

Ge

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You’re definitely on different pages. I think you need to have a conversation about why he doesn’t want more, and go into it open minded.Me personally? I wouldn’t be upset if my fiancé told me he didn’t want anymore kids, because it’s his right to not want more & I have a kid with him that I love so so much already. But that’s just me.

ar

arianna • Nov 19, 2022
He didn’t just say “I don’t want more kids” he said “I don’t want anymore kids with YOU” that would be hurtful

Em

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I clicked “maybe” before I read the post. Yes, I would be upset in your situation, simply because of how he said it. There’s a difference between saying “I don’t want any more kids of my own” and “I don’t want any more kids with YOU.” To me, that sounds like he’s saying he’s not happy and/or you’re not worthy of bearing any more of his children, in his eyes. I’d definitely sit down with him and tell him how you’re feeling about the situation and how he made you feel when he said that. Maybe ask him to clarify what exactly he meant by that, because it sounds pretty harsh and mean 😢

Ch

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The way he said it was so rude. Please start protecting yourself. Obviously for a man who doesn’t want kids with you should be okay with condoms being worn. Cuz what he said is rude asf. No more unplanned pregnancy because if you get pregnant he will leave you high and dry even tho he helped make that child. Leave this man and go on birth control or some form of contraceptives. He’s a walking red flag. Do not continue raw dogging with him.

Me

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The with you part is the problem. I’d get it if he just didn’t want more kids but to specifically say he doesn’t want any with you is just off

Ny

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You’ve done a lot of speaking for him in this post. Ask him. Talk to him about why he makes those comments.

Mo

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Meaning he wants no more children with anyone and it came out wrong, or "with you" as in perhaps in the future with someone else but doesnt want any additional ties to you?

Ma

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I’m sorry but he doesn’t see a future with you. I wouldn’t have kids with him anymore especially since he’s a bf not a husband. He’s being hurtful. I voted before I Read your story. And after reading your story yes I would be hurt and sad. I thought you meant like after having kids and your partner was done. But what he’s doing is mean.

Ta

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I would be upset at the WAY that he is saying it. He sounds incredibly disrespectful.