Husband vs Me 😞

I’m in a dilemma. I hate it. But I want to see other’s opinions even if they’re different from mine (politely.) I’ve stressed all week.

I was married from 18-21. We had a daughter together. We divorced. He is only supposed to have supervised visits, so I actually met my now husband when I took my daughter to visit her dad one day. My now husband was his neighbor. It was about 9 months after the divorce was finalized. My husband (now) and I clicked really well like we had known each other for years and we ended up getting married 2 years later. My ex husband, stopped talking to us and seeing my daughter about 3 months after I met my now husband. So he was never in the picture long after the divorce. He has seen her maybe 3 times since we have been married, and we’ve been married 5 years now. He doesn’t text us, he doesn’t call, he doesn’t come by. Well last month, we had child support court because he doesn’t ever pay and he was in contempt. It was the first time I’ve seen him in about 3 years. Anyway what does he say? “I’d like to see (daughter) soon.”

My now husband says absolutely not unless he can talk to him like an adult and prove he will be around. We have wiped away too many of her tears because of my ex. She is 12 now and has been nothing but hurt by him. I agree with my husband that he has had too many chances. I understand that. But I also don’t want her to blame me. I want her to be able to make the decision. Anytime I bring up my points, my husband gets pissed at me. He got mad at me earlier and left for 2 hours all because I was trying to talk about it. And she was supposed to stay the night with her grandparents tomorrow (dads side) which she has done often and my husband now says hell no. Because he thinks they’ll let her dad around. So now her grandfather is going to be mad at me for not letting her stay the night when he has never done anything wrong. He wanted to be in her life even though his son had been a turd. I don’t feel like that’s fair to her grandfather. Anyway. I’m so upset and stressed over it. I feel like my husband married me knowing this and he shouldn’t make me feel like my opinions don’t matter! But maybe I’m wrong, idk anymore to be honest.