I feel like I messed up when it comes to my preschooler. He doesn't listen to me but he will listen to everyone else. He has always been highly independent but it's to the point where he thinks he's on the same level as an authority figure. It's like he has zero respect for me. No matter what I tell him, he will do exactly what I don't want him to do. I have tried disciplining him by taking away his favorite things, speaking to him about why certain things cannot be done, even a pop on the hand. But nothing works. Im starting to think all the criticism I have gotten since he's been born about my parenting is true. Maybe I'm a terrible mom who allowed things too soon. I used Montessori with my son when I realized he is independent but it seems to have backfired on me. I got criticism about it from the beginning.

I don't understand why my son refuses to listen to me but he will listen to everyone else. I have been told that I spoiled him by picking him up and etc when he used to cry. Or just allowing independence at all. I really feel that everything is going to get worse in the future. On top of that I have had a new baby. It makes me feel very down.

I have also read child development books, gentle parenting tips and more. But he doesn't respond to anything.

When he was 2, I started having issues with his behavior. I just chalked it up to the terrible twos. But now that he's about to be 4 and I still see that my authority isn't respected, I feel like I messed up somewhere.