I was ordering from chipotle on door dash and he said get chips and guac. I’m struggling with an eating disorder and was back and forth on the app and the calculator because I’m trying to get max calories. Anyway, when I go to check out I forget to add chips and guacamole. It gets here and doesn’t say chips and guac on the bag so when I get I say I forgot to order them and he instantly get shorts with me before I have the chance to offer to get them. I ask why he’s being short with me he says “you know why, its all about you, you didn’t order them on purpose, youre only concerned about yourself”. He has been drinking and he’s an alcoholic so he starts getting loud with me and telling me to leave him alone so I do. Then from the other room I hear him slamming his keyboard, his desk, he texts me “how do I have the audacity to say I forgot”. He is like heavy sighing like trying to sound angry and slamming his phone down. I’m scared of him when he’s like this and he doesn’t care that it scares. I have six dogs and five are right next to me. Four are on the bed with me and one is on the ground right next to bed where I’m at. Idk why that matters I just hate when I’m afraid to move. He has never done anything physical ever but one time we got in a fight when he was drunk and I came back in the house and he was sleeping next to a loaded gun with shells next to it and he says he doesn’t remember doing that but ever since that I’ve been alittle nervous when he gets drunk even though he says it doesn’t affect him. He wasn’t like this when we met. He says I made him this way, I made him be aggressive because of how I acted. He has drank almost every day since we’ve been together which is almost six years. There was a period of time before I got diagnosed bipolar that I did get very angry and yelled so maybe it is my fault he acts this way now.