I am 23 and am having a secret abortion

I am 23 years old. I recently lost my job, the friday before thanksgiving. I have anorexia nervous and an anxiety disorder. I am in no place to have a baby.

I live with my bf of almost 4 years and I can’t bring myself to tell him. I have a hormone disorder that caused my birth control to be ineffective. i’ve tried many different kinds over the years to try to regulate my hormones but I haven’t found the right one yet. And I wasn’t aware of my bc being ineffective until I found out I was pregnant.

because of my anxiety, I take a test whenever my period is late to ensure that i’m fine. this time it was a positive. I wanted to die.

I met w a doctor who prescribed me pills bc i’m only 8 weeks. I feel so alone and i’m scared to tell my BF bc i’m worried he’ll be mad at me. idk if I should tell him because by this time tomorrow I should no longer be pregnant. I also have an appointment to get an IUD inserted after i’m cleared by my doctor. I guess I just wanted to vent :/