*Please no rude comments, I was in a dark spot in my life and am working SO hard to move away from it*

6 months ago, my ex was abusing my children and I. My kids were 15 months and 2 months old. I also had witnessed walking into my FIL’s suicide, my ex was having his family illegally evict us while they also were abusing us, and I had severe postpartum on top of it, so my mind so was MAJORLY fucked up at the time. During this time, I took both kids to the store and while there, my son started hysterically crying. I pulled on his arm and tapped his stomach to try to get him to stop, telling him to stop. (It wasn’t hard enough to leave marks. But Trust me, I already feel sooo much guilt even just thinking about it, I know I’m a terrible person). Someone called the cops and they talked to me. I told them some of what was going on and they said they wouldn’t do anything but that it might get documented.

It’s been 6 months since then. I have full custody of my kids, moved away from my ex, don’t keep in contact with him or his family, am in therapy, stay on medicine, got a job, went back to school.

However, ever since he can’t abuse me or the kids, my ex wont help in any way and I’m struggling to make ends meet. So I got a daycare job but they are completing a background check. I’m so worried that it will show up and they will think I’m abusive and then I’ll be without a job and stuck with the debt my ex piled onto me. I know it’s my own fault and take accountability but it would still suck…