Recently one of my friends got married. She didn't have a bridal shower or even a registry, and her wedding was the same week as my daughter's due date. When her invites went out earlier this year, I RSVPd "regretfully declines" because I didn't want to be a no show. I ended up giving birth two days before her wedding so I made the right choice.

For her wedding, I sent her a card and $250. I thought that was a decent gift, but a mutual friend recently told me that my "friend" is calling me a cheapskate and was expecting a bigger gift from me. I know that's just what a mutual friend says, and they could be lying.

I didn't even go to the wedding, but as a friend, should I have given her a bigger gift? I can't help but wonder.

UPDATE:

I talked with my friend the bride. Long story short, our mutual friend heard right and I'm no longer friends with the bride.

The long story is that the bride thought $250 was cheap because she believes my husband and I are "established" and have "a disposable income since we have a baby". She went on to say that we should have given a minimum of $500 since we didn't have to buy outfits for the wedding because we didn't go, didn't have to rent a hotel (the wedding was in our town), and we didn't have to buy her a gift (she didn't have a registry OR a bridal shower).

I told her that the reason we gave her $250 is because we thought it was an acceptable gift considering we weren't going to the wedding (we RSVPd "regretfully declines" well in advance, and therefore she didn't have to factor us into costs). I told her that her calling me a cheapskate behind my back wasn't acceptable, and I didn't deserve that. I reminded her that babies, like weddings, are expensive, so her idea that we have "disposable income" is ridiculous. She didn't agree to anything I said, and asked for her shower gift back "on principle". She bought me a cute little hooded towel and some washcloths, which I told her I really enjoyed using, I told her that i would give them back no problem if that was her wish. I told her to keep the $250 since it was a gift, but if my money wasn't good enough for her, she was welcome to do with it as she pleases. I told her I was sad that it had come to this, but I had no interest in continuing a friendship with someone who talks about me behind my back and feels entitled to my wallet.