Guilt.

I always thought that I wanted at least 4 kids, but I don’t think I was considering just how difficult and exhausting that could be. I have 2 kids aged 6 and 4, and I’m currently 15w pregnant with my 3rd. I’m not going to lie about anything here, I’m being brutally honest. With this pregnancy I was excited for about a week after finding out and then reality must have hit me real fast. I started to consider abortion and I thought about it daily for weeks. I booked that appointment 6 times but in the end I didn’t go through with it. I’m still worried about my older kids, the age gap this baby will have, relationships with family and loved ones, among many other things but I have to somehow manage. I’m now almost 100% sure that I don’t want any more pregnancies after this one. I personally think 2 was best for me, and I don’t think I want more than 3.