Is my therapist manipulating me?

Question

I have childhood trauma and told her how much I need a mom in my life and then she teared up and said “how about I play the role of a mother for you?”. Then in another appointment I said that i’m not strong enough to press charges against my mom and I need someone’s help then she said “do you want me to help you?”. Also she never did any of those things and she knows that I’m too shy to say yes to any of those. But I feel like she’s just all talk and won’t help and doesn’t actually want to be involved in the case against my mom or be a mom figure to me.
What do you guys think?

Accepted Answer

It's extremely inappropriate for your therapist to be offering to be a mother figure or insert herself into your personal affairs from a non professional standpoint. I'd be finding someone else.

Answer

That is a therapist red flag

Answer

Wait she's crying and asking if you want her to be your mom basically? For whatever motive she has behind this inappropriate behavior it's completely inappropriate and you need to cancel any further sessions and find another therapist ASAP.

Answer

A therapist is just that, a therapist. Someone to talk to about your issue and they try to give you some clarity on those issues. They do not assist at all outside of therapy sessions. And they do not and are not to insert themselves in your personal life; they can lose their license. She asked you questions and it seems like she was wanting to maybe role play in session to help you stand up to your mother (or whatever the situation is). I didn't read this as the therapist is trying to insert themselves and you being upset that she didn't do those things she asked, is beyond! The therapist is not there to do any of those things, like help with a case or be a mother figure. I do not think the therapist is manipulating you; I think you are simply expecting more than what comes from a therapist. And her asking questions is not always, literal, sometimes you have to read between the lines.

Answer

Yikes!!! Please get you a professional therapist. That is way out of line.

Answer

I may be wrong here but if my therapist teared up during a session I’d be finding a new one

Answer

Red flags all around. 
The only reason she should ever "be a mother figure" is in reenactments where she's showing you how a mother figure should have reacted/giving you that fulfillment. Thats a style of therapy where you take the trauma and change what happened to help with your healing.
She should not be offering to be your mother figure. She shouldn't be giving you her feelings on the situations you experienced either.
Helping you press charges wouldn't be a red flag if she was doing it solely as your support, but shes not. She's crossing boundries.

Answer

Um, the point of a therapist is to be objective to be able to talk to you and help you see for yourself where the root of your troubles lie. 
They aren't supposed to form outspoken attachments to patients and insert themselves into their lives or issues. 
If that's what you're looking for,  find an older, motherly friend for that; that's what those friendships are for.  
She's a paid professional,  not a family friend,  and she's blurring boundary lines.  You need to find a new therapist

Answer

Red flag

Answer

Therapy is very important and very personal.  Regardless of the reason, if you don't feel totally comfortable with her you should seek out a new therapist.  I saw 4 therapists over the years before I found the one that fit with me and she helped me turn my life around.  If you feel something is off, it's time to find someone new.

Is my therapist manipulating me?

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