Idek what I’m doing help!?

So i’m a very independent person I’ve always live by I don’t need a man, I’m never going to lower my expectations for one, and i’ll never chase a man. That being said I have a slight problem I think I have a crush on my guy best friend. I’ve know this guy for longer than 4 years like since I was in 6th grade. I’ve had on and off crushes on him but this feels different he’s a grade older than me and has his licenses he’s never had a girlfriend and Ive never had a boyfriend. That being said I don’t think my first boyfriend should be a guy i’m super close with. Our family’s are really good friends so I don’t think it’s a good idea because what if we break up. And i’m not even really sure if he actually likes me so i’m very confused on what to do. When it comes to relationships i’ve never really been the best, like i’ll get the ick and stop liking him, like I don’t know what to do in a relationship. Plus another thing is I don’t want to have sex till I have a stable job that could support a child because I’m extremely scared of teen pregnancy(which could be one of the reason i’ve just always avoided dating people.) And my family has been know to be very fertile like my mom got pregnant with me young and when she was on birth control. So clearly I don’t know what I’m doing so any advice is appreciated.