Getting through baby loss together

My wife and I are a same sex couple and we experienced a miscarriage two months ago. She carried our babies. We have a toddler and we’re over the moon for our next baby. We had our whole future planned and a new future at that. It was our main goal and focus. When this happened it tore us apart, we lost sight. We were there for each other and then in turn turned into ourselves. Looking on it now it’s like we tried so hard to act like it didn’t happen, or acknowledge the pain it brought us. And now two months later my wife comes to tell me she resents me for our loss, and not having a goal anymore etc.z but we never talked about that. We never really talked and I understand how bad that is now. But we have been so hurt. Now my wife has asked for separation and it’s been the worst days of my life honestly I feel so low. I am understanding that she is in so much pain I wish I could take away because her acting on this is so not her. But I understand how done she can be at the same time. I’m really trying to feel my own feelings in our loss and balance our home life, but I am so beyond overcome with hurt from this decision she’s made I don’t know how to be who I need to be for her while feeling this many feelings. She wants a divorce but I’m just so lost, because I couldn’t ever have made this decision without talking to her first.. I feel like I’m losing my family all at once and I don’t know how to deal with any of this in the right way.x