TMI maybe

So my ex told me I was loose and I got very insecure I have been doing kegels for like 2 months and when I feel inside I don’t feel the Vaginal rugae unless I squeeze is this normal all I feel are soft squishy bumps but it dosent feel ridged unless I do a kegel what do you think is wrong with me a prolapse or is this normal I feel very insecure and the kegels don’t seem to make a difference any advice is this normal or? I am just insecure about being loose for future relationships I have had 2 kids 3yrd and a 8m old