I think I messed up my cousin's baby shower but maybe she did it to herself?

Disclaimer I have Asperger's and I'm *really* bad at picking up social cues.

My cousin hosted her baby shower today and it *just* finished. I kept telling her before the shower how much my husband wanted to come and she said it was ladies only. I told her that he needed to come because I didn't want to drive alone and since he was coming for the drive, my kids would need to come too. My cousin said no, but like, I'm not going to find a babysitter for three kids and I'm a stay at home mom. My mom and aunt babysit for me and I don't have any non-family who babysit.

My cousin said she was really sorry, but the event was women only. Plus, I could drive up with my mom and aunt in the same car. I told her that wouldn't work because what about my husband and kids? She said that my husband and kids would stay home and I would come with my aunt and mom in one car. She then said she didn't know how else to say it but my husband and kids were not invited.

My family all really wanted to go so we kind of *gatecrashed* her shower. My cousin was pretty upset but my mom was really supportive and made up name tags for my husband and kids so they'd feel like they were *supposed* to be there. My cousin (the sister of the one having the baby) then told my husband that he needed to leave with my kids.

I told her that they really wanted to be there and we're already here so what's the big deal? I figured it was no big deal and my mom thinks that since they were already there we should have all been included. They kept saying that they told us well in advance who was invited. They made me feel really uncomfortable so I ended up picking up my gift, which was a really nice blanket and book, and we all left. I told her if she couldn't be grateful for our presence she didn't deserve a gift from us.

My husband says I did nothing wrong because we invited her to our baby shower with our first and *we* didn't tell people they couldn't come. We included *ALL* our family.

But like my other aunt said that we made things really uncomfortable and that we had plenty of warning about the guest list, and that what happened would have been avoided if we'd listened to them in the first place.

I just don't know what to think now.